The Meaning of Change
Many ask, "what is Change, does it mean that I will never have same sex desires again? Does it mean that I will never again have a erotic thought about someone of my same gender? No, it doesn’t mean any of the above. What it does mean is that as you learn who you are in Christ Jesus and develop intimate relationship with Him, same sex desires will not have the same control over your life as they once did. Many men and women become frustrated and disillusioned in their quest to overcome same sex desires, because many seek a "quick fix". Many of us have been conditioned to believe that the prayer of deliverance is all it takes. Deliverance is where we start but it does not take the place of renewing the mind and living by faith.
There are few people who are delivered from same sex desires in an instant and even then they have reported that they at some point they had to go through a process of emotional healing. There is a process of spiritual muturity and emotional healing that everyone has to go through if they want complete freedom from any habitual sin. Years ago in my quest to find freedom from homosexuality, I requested that a evangelist friend of mine, "cast a demon out of me", after she prayed for about fifteen minutes or so, she stopped and said,"Selena, the Lord says, that you don’t have a demon, all you have to do is renew your mind."
With that said, I went away sad, like the rich young ruler in the Bible. I wanted a quick fix. I didn’t want to have to fight the good fight of faith in order to obtain and retain my freedom. I didn’t want to have to fight the giants in the land. The giants of erotic desire for the same sex, the giants of loneliness and grief,
I didn’t want to have to deal with the pain of giving up my fantasy of having a "good" homosexual relationship. I, like the people of Israel, could not enter the promise because I didn't mix the Word of God with faith. As a child of God I wondered in the wilderness of homosexual fantasy and relationships.
As a Christian I was delivered from Egypt, a type of sin, but because of unbelief I was not able to enter into the promise land of freedom and change. I have learned as a result of my own experiences and the experiences of others that change does not mean that we will never be tempted again, but it does mean that with the temptation the Lord will always provide a way of escape. Change means that Jesus has become my first love for real.
It means that I desire to live a life that is pleasing to Him more than I desire to sin. Change means that I am no longer fearful when same sex desires arise or when I am tempted with a thought, but I immediately go to the Lord to ask Him, is there anything that I need from Him or is there anything that I need to do.
Many have been deceived even as I was to believe that if someone is at some time or another tempted with same sex desires that they must not be delivered or that change is not possible. Homosexuality is an addictive behavior and like those who find freedom from other sinful addictive behaviors, they sometimes are tempted to return to that behavior during times of stress, grief, depression and frustration, etc. Change is not the absence of temptation but it is the progressive ability to say no to the temptation. The more you say no!, the less frequent and the less intense the temptations become.
It is said that what you believe creates your thoughts. Your thoughts ignite your emotions. Your emotions propel your actions and your actions become habits. I have also heard it said, that if you don’t like the way you feel, change what you are thinking or focusing on.
Your beliefs, thoughts, emotions and actions or habits of living are all interconnected. In overcoming any addiction or habitual sin, we must look at that which we are believing and keeps us locked in the addictive cycle.
2 Corinthians 10:3-4 (New King James), "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal (of the flesh), but mighty through God for the pulling down of strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exhalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." The word stronghold, is defined as, " a fortified place". A stronghold is a fortified system of wrong beliefs. These systems of wrong beliefs produce wrong thinking, which ignites emotions that propel us to act in ways that are contrary to God’s Word.The Word of God in Romans 12:2, (Amplified Version) says, "Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is the good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]."
The Word of God in Isaiah 55:8 tells us, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Jeremiah 29:11(Amplified Bible) says, "For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome."
God has decided what the final outcome of any situation that arises in your life. He has decided the final outcome of your decision to find freedom from homosexuality. He wants you to have hope, earnest expectation of victory. But you must change your way of thinking so that your doing or habit of living will change to line up with God’s way of thinking and doing.
God has guaranteed your victory through faith in Christ Jesus, but unless you change or renew your mind to think as God thinks, you will not walk in the manifestation of your victory.Changing your ways without changing your thoughts to line up with God’s Word is at best behavior modification. Behavior modification last as long as it is convenient for the time at hand.
Behavior modification in overcoming habitual sin is like giving a house a new paint job on the outside without exterminating the termites on the inside and replacing damaged structures. you will find in time that your house is falling down around you.The same is true of the homosexual struggler who modifies their behavior but does not eradicate, gut out and replace fortified systems of beliefs,(termites) and the structural damage of wrong thoughts . You may make your outside (behavior), look good but on the inside, (your mind), is full of pest (wrong beliefs) and the decay of wrong thoughts which eventually causes you to fall in unbelief, even as the house will fall if not properly renovated.
Many people fall back into their old way of living after they "fall into sin" because they were not in the process of renewing their minds. The old fortified belief systems, called strongholds were still eating at their minds just as termites eat away at the wood of a house.
After struggling with homosexual desires for many years we took on the identity of that which we were feeling. Many of us became wraped up in the gay "lifestyle", in doing so, we took on identities such as "gay, lesbian, bisexual, soft butch, dyke, punk, sissy, lipstick lesbian, etc, etc. Now that you are seeking to change, you must choose to change your identity.
I believe that God who created us (Genesis 1:26), is the only person who can give us our true identity and thereby self-esteem, with this in mind we must search the Scriptures to find out who God says we are. As Miles Munroe says, "Only the maker of a thing can determine what the thing is." Since God is our maker and the creator of everthing, let's look to Him for our identity.
I am a Child of God. (John 1:12)
I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
I am the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)
I am the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)
I am more than a conquerer through Christ Jesus who loves me and gave Himself for me. (Romans 8:37)
I am a new creature in Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am an overcomer. (1 John 5:4-5)
I am redeemed from the hand of the enemy. (Psalm 107:2)
I am forgiven. (Colossians 1:13-14)
I am sanctified. (1 Corinthians 6:11)
I am partaker of God's divine nature. (2 Peter 1:4)
I am loved by God. (Romans 5:8, John 3:16, John 16:26)
I am an heir of God and a joint heir with Jesus Christ. (Romans 8:17)
I have been delivered and drawn out of the control and dominion of darkness and transfered into the kingdom of God's Son. (Colossians 1:13)
I am created in God's image and made in His likeness.
(Genesis 1:26)
I am choosen by God. (John 15:16)
I am God's handiwork created in Christ Jesus unto good works. (Ephesians 2:10)
I am saved by grace through faith, completely perfectly for all time and eternity. (Acts 15:11, Ephesians 2:8, Hebrews 7:25)
The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in me, therefore I can do whatever God ask me to do. (Romans 8:11)
I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me. I am ready for anything and equal to anything through God who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency. (Philippians 4:19)
I walk by faith and not by sight.
(Habakkuk 2:4, Romans 1:17, Galatians 3:11, Hebrews 10:3)
I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ for it is the power of God working in me unto salvation for deliverance from enternal death. (Romans 1:16)
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
(Jeremiah 29:11 Amplified Bible)
Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties. Yes, I will help you; Yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.
(Isaiah 41:10 Amplified Bible)
And I will give them one heart [a new heart] and I will put a new spirit within them; and I will take the stony [unnaturally hardened] heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh [sensitive and responsive to the touch of their God]. (Ezekiel 11:19 Amplified Bible)
The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, guide and shield me]. I shall not lack. (Psalm 23:1 Amplified Bible)
God is not mad at you
His thoughts and plans for you are for good and not for evil... . Jeremiah 29:11
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